The double marriage; or, White lies (1896)

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He entered Magdalen College, at Oxford, earning his B. He was subsequently dean of arts, and vice-president of Magdalen College, earning his degree of D. His name was entered at Lincoln's Inn in ; he was elected Vinerian Fellow in , and was called to the bar in He kept his fellowship at Magdalen all his life, but after earning his degree, he spent the greater part of his time in London.

But Reade's reputation was made by the two-act comedy, Masks and Faces, in which he collaborated with Tom Taylor. It was produced in November He made his name as a novelist in , when he produced It's Never Too Late to Mend, a novel written with the purpose of reforming abuses in prison discipline and the treatment of criminals.

In , his masterpiece, The Cloister and the Hearth, was published, relating the adventures of the father of Erasmus. At intervals throughout his literary career he sought to gratify his dramatic ambition, hiring a theatre and engaging a company for the representation of his own plays. Reade was an amateur of the violin, and among his works is an essay on Cremona violins with the title, "A Lost Art Revived. Mary's Church, Willesden , in north-west London. Reade sub-titled a number of his novels "A matter-of-fact romance;" this referred to his practice of basing his novels largely on newspaper cuttings, which he began collecting for this purpose in Reade's novels were popular, and he was among England's highest-paid novelists.

However, many libraries refused to carry his works on the grounds that they were indecent. Reade fell out of fashion by the turn of the century—"it is unusual to meet anyone who has voluntarily read him," wrote George Orwell in an essay on Reade [6] —but during the 19th century Reade was one of England's most popular novelists.

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He was not highly regarded by critics. The following assessment by Justin McCarthy, writing in , is typical:. A strong, healthy air of honest and high purpose breathes through nearly all the stories. An utter absence of cant, affectation, and sham distinguishes them. A surprising variety of descriptive power, at once bold, broad, and realistic is one of their great merits. Reade can describe a sea-fight, a storm, the forging of a horseshoe, the ravages of an inundation, the trimming of a lady's dress, the tuning of a piano, with equal accuracy and apparent zest. Indeed, Mr. Reade wants no quality which is necessary to make a powerful story-teller, while he is distinguished from all mere story-tellers by the fact that he has some great social object to serve in nearly everything he undertakes to detail.

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More than this I do not believe he is, nor, despite the evidences of something yet higher which were given in 'Christie Johnstone' and 'The Cloister and the Hearth,' do I think he ever could have been. He is a magnificent specimen of the modern special correspondent, endowed with the additional and unique gift of a faculty for throwing his report into the form of a thrilling story. But it requires something more than this, something higher than this, to make a great novelist whom the world will always remember.

Reade is unsurpassed in the second class of English novelists, but he does not belong to the front rank. His success has been great in its way, but it is for an age and not for time.

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The author George Orwell summed up Reade's attraction as "the same charm as one finds in R. Austin Freeman 's detective stories or Lieutenant-Commander Gould 's collections of curiosities—the charm of useless knowledge," going on to say that. Reade was a man of what one might call penny-encyclopaedic learning. He possessed vast stocks of disconnected information which a lively narrative gift allowed him to cram into books which would at any rate pass as novels.

These are the costs of deception that partners rarely consider.

If you have the sort of mind that takes a pleasure in dates, lists, catalogues, concrete details, descriptions of processes, junk-shop windows and back numbers of the Exchange and Mart, the sort of mind that likes knowing exactly how a medieval catapult worked or just what objects a prison cell of the eighteen-forties contained, then you can hardly help enjoying Reade. During his career, the prolific Reade was involved in several literary feuds involving accusations of plagiarism. He strongly defended himself, but invoked standards on literary borrowing that are looser than those of today.

People also tend to lie about financial and health issues. I heard of a person who divorced her husband because he did not inform her he could not have children before they were married.

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  • In another case, when a wife asked her husband to take money out of the stock market to pay bills, he would always say that he could not get the money out on the same day when in fact he could. The result of the late delivery of money to this stay-at-home mom was humiliation over bounced checks and late payments.

    After he died, she discovered the lie, which he had repeated over many years, from his broker, and she felt betrayed and angry, which significantly impacted her memories of her marriage. The good news: There is recovery from intimate partner lying.

    Often, with help, the relationship does not end but heals instead. The person who cheated or lied for some other reason must learn why they could not trust their partner to understand their needs and motives in the first place. If he hoped the numbers would go up, why was he afraid to share that? While people who lie to their partners have a lot to learn about their fears of being open and vulnerable, those who have been lied to can learn if messages they gave out may have contributed to the problem.

    In spite of the pain on both sides, when the walls erected in a relationship are brought down safely and carefully, much good can come of this new openness. All rights reserved. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy. Questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below.

    Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. What many people fail to see is that you are right- one little lie if it is just a white lie probably would do very little damage.

    How Secrets and Lies Destroy Relationships | Psychology Today

    But it can be that these add up and then you have to look at the cumulative damage that they can do. Lying puts up so many walls that can be very hard to tear down and overcome once they have been erected. There will always be those who prefer to live with their heads buried in the sand, blissfully ignorant really. A lie is a lie and not matter how innocent you try to make it sound, like calling it a little fib or a white lie, it is still an untruth and it can wind up being very hurtful to numerous people, yourself included.

    If you find that you are having to elaborate on the reasons why just to make yourself feel better about those choices, then there is something wrong with your behavior that you need to look at a little more clearly. If you are doing it to protect someone from getting hurt then I think that there could be a valid excuse behind that. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy. Leave this field empty.

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