Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering


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Our mind is often the stage for the acting out of a recurring dialogue between two conflicting parts of our psyche. Yet the rest of us have troublesome inner voices, too. Our voices are more subtle, restrained, and rational than in mentally disturbed individuals. Yet these voices or thoughts can still take control of our consciousness, make us jump to their commands and suggestions, and produce suffering and self-defeat.

Our oppressive inner dialogue consists, on one side, of the point of view of inner aggression. This dynamic or drive is seated in our inner critic or superego. On the other side of the conflict, inner passivity seated in our defensive subordinate ego functions as an enabler of our inner critic.


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Classical psychoanalysis has known about this inner conflict, but the universality of the problem, the self-damage it causes, and its mechanisms of operation are not being well communicated to people. This dialogue proceeds according to a straightforward formula: Inner aggression attacks and inner passivity defends. The superego attacks or belittles us for our slightest mistakes or misdemeanors. Meanwhile, on the other side of the conflict, our unconscious subordinate ego jumps up reflexively to defend us, even when the accusations from our superego are spurious, cruel, or just plain nonsense.

Often our unconscious ego offers up guilt and shame, which is a price we pay in suffering, to placate our relentless, authoritarian superego. We tend to be unaware of the existence of the conflict. Still, our emotions, beliefs, and sense of self are caught in the middle, shifting back and forth from one side to the other, depending on which point of view is most influencing us at any moment.

Two examples of this futile inner dialogue can help us to recognize it and moderate it if not eliminate it when it arises in our psyche. A businessman reported that, when driving to work, he often got into a debate with himself concerning his investments. On his drive, which took him past the branch offices and retail outlets of major companies, he tried to evaluate their state of commercial activity.

Hal and Sidra Stone have changed many lives with their powerful health enhancing potential work. Drs Hal and Sidra Stone latest project, the Voice Dialogue Series, is the best presentation of their innovative work to date. Filmed and recorded before a live audience, the Stones are at their best as they interact with this energetic group of people. The teaching examples are not hypothetical, and the audience is fully engaged in the process of learning Voice Dialogue. The series is masterfully edited, with thoughtful narration and one on one interviews, that are blended into the live presentations to reinforce the major teaching points.

This series is a must for anyone using Voice Dialogue in a professional capacity and highly recommended for those who are using Voice Dialogue to improve their relationships and their quality of life. Voice Dialogue was first recommended to me a number of years ago by my then girlfriend and now wife. However, it was not until two years latter when she managed to obtain an audio recording of Hal and Sidra did I first find the motivation to review their work. From the very first tape I was excited by what I was hearing.

The paradigm of which they spoke not only matched my personal experience but also was consistent with what I have observed through ten years of private practise. The depth in both form and content, of the Voice Dialogue method they developed, was readily received and immediately enhancing both to my personal and professional life.

Personally, it helped bring a context to my experience in relationship with myself and others, thus, facilitating within me greater reflection and the ability to transform old reoccurring patterns into new more fulfilling ones. I recommend The Voice Dialogue Series to anyone with an interest in maximising their experiences or assisting others to do likewise.

I have been using Voice Dialogue in my own personal growth for many years and have gained greater awareness of these patterns in my own life and how to deal with them. Since training as a Voice Dialogue facilitator and using the technique with patients, I find that they are more proactive in their own recovery, allowing them to move on both physically and emotionally. A brilliant technique to assist people in gaining health, happiness and self awareness.

The Voice Dialogue Series is a highly effective educational resource that we now find integral to our holistic counselling training programme. The 12 videos provide a comprehensive and practical introduction to The Psychology of Selves and inner life of the psyche. Our students find the series informative, thorough and professionally empowering.

We heartily recommend these videos to all educators who wish to develop quality understandings and high-level competencies in the artistry of human care in their students. Voice Dialogue has been used to improve the performance of managers and executives throughout the United States.

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I have used it with managers and executives to increase their focus, personal effectiveness, and improve their working relationships with bosses, peers, subordinates, and customers. Voice Dialogue is easily integrated into a variety of executive development programs and provides a safe and powerful method for managers and executives to quickly improve their performance. Some practical benefits I have found include being able to relate more effectively by clearly seeing who I am dealing with.

I am also able to coach my clients easily and generally I am a more compassionate person. The series explains this process better than any other vehicle I have seen. Hundreds of executives have been successfully guided through our coaching process. We have developed a highly praised day training in individual coaching for Human Resources professionals based on this method, which proves to be very successful, in the organizational environment as well as in the therapeutic context. Creative Pursuits Actors, Writers, Artists. My process of teaching acting stresses that there is no separation between Acting and Living!

Over the years this technique has enabled actors to carry those parts into the characters they have played. Voice Dialogue provides a guaranteed, specific way of rapidly accessing all the extremes of the human personality spectrum. You will develop an extremely diverse repertoire of characters for use in all your work — with different ages, philosophies, emotional realities, voices and body language.

This means you will be castable in many more roles and your work will be more dimensional and unpredictable. Voice Dialogue will revolutionize actor training. This is a must for every actor dedicated to creating work informed by depth, detail and, above all, recognizable human behavior. Your audiences will thank you for ever.

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As an acting coach on films I have also employed the model directly to assist actors in rehearsal to find parts of themselves that best suit the characters they are playing. There is an infinite resource of creativity in us all, the Voice Dialogue Model gives us a very specific means of sourcing this creativity through consciousness and awareness.

Books and CD’s

When we use this model we deal directly and specifically with the energetics of the myriad selves and their role in the act of artistic transaction that occurs between actor and audience. Martin Challis: In creative expression our impulses are the magic food of inspiration. Review by Living Traditions Magazine. The Audios do not duplicate what is on the Videos but offer deeper explorations of the Voice Dialogue system.

The first thing I notice is the presentation. The Voice Dialogue Series comes in a superior quality presentation case with introduction papers, printed copies of the Summary Screens as used in the Video series and Guidelines for using the course. The Videos offer a solid foundation in Voice Dialogue; they are edited in such a way each one builds on what you have learnt in the last.

I found this especially helpful as it brought together all the ideas being presented in a condensed fashion on a regular basis. Program One is a simple introduction to sub personalities and goes for around 11 minutes. It is worth watching a couple of times as it forms the foundation of Voice Dialogue.

This section uses 3D computer graphics to help us visualize the basic structure of the psyche and how the sub personalities work. It is well presented, easy to understand and a superb introduction to this new way of understanding ourselves. Program Two is a longer presentation about an hour which examines the primary sub personalities, for ease of use it is sub divided into sections on How the Personality Develops, The Major Primary Selves and The Major Primary Selves continued.

These are sections from a live workshop by Hal and Sidra Stone, which are edited with further explanations presented in interview format and summary screens. The further explanations are highly significant as they offer very direct explanations of the key concepts which are then again emphasized by the summary screens.

I really like the combination of live footage from a workshop, direct interview footage and summary screens this makes this package very user friendly. This is a very good way to learn, the series is structured in such a way that it is nearly impossible to misunderstand any basic concepts and difficult to miss key ideas since they are so clearly explained. Having undertaken many training courses via DVD, this is one of the best formats I have seen, using a combination of methods to offer a balance of a clear and precise presentation of the Voice Dialogue system coupled with enough detail and personal examples to make it very interesting.

Program Three explores the effect that disowned selves and sub personalities in general have on health. This includes some very pertinent issues which are again presented in bit size pieces.


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The first section explores what disowned selves are, how they operate and what they can teach us. In the second section we get more insight into these disowned selves as well as how they function within a family unit and how the dynamics of that family help create those disowned selves. While we may choose to not express a given self, it is imperative that we appreciate all aspects of ourselves.

This is followed by a fascinating discussion of how illness can be caused by disowned selves, one classic example offered was a woman racked with gastro intestinal pain. Indeed when she dealt with these issues her pain subsided. This is then followed by explorations of the ego process, spirituality and related issues. Again this program is divided into three bite sized sections and uses summary screens to help us understand the Aware Ego concept. Programs Five and Six explore the nature of bonding and relationships and these are certainly very insightful and meaningful discussions. When we begin to understand our own primary selves and disowned selves we can start to understand why our relationships function the way they do.

In Program five we come to understand negative and positive bonding patterns especially in relation to the rejection of our own vulnerability. We explore the three aspects of the bonding pattern and how they apply to relationships. One of the most powerful concepts is that the things that we judge most harshly in ourselves is actually the self we disown! Program Six continues this exploration of bonding and relationships with many practical examples as well as deepening our understanding of the energetic levels of relationships.

Program Seven introduces the concept of Dreams and discusses their value within Voice Dialogue. This section offers ways to interpret dreams in light of these selves includes some fascinating examples of dreamscapes and what they can reveal if we examine them closely. Part two of this program examines the role of symbols and themes within dreams and especially discusses the way we disown our instincts and how these may communicate within dreams. I especially like the dream Hal recounts of a woman in his class who dream she went into her basement and it was filled with wild animals in cages, which had all been put to sleep by new age music.

Program Eight is where we actually start to examine how Voice Dialogue works. We get an introduction to where the system came from, the goals and benefits and hints on how to put it into practice. The whole tenor of the work is much more like the sharing of wisdom from people who have learnt a lot about life rather than a didactic presentation of a new discovery. Part three actually begins to outline how the Voice Dialogue system works and how it can be used in a practical way.

We have examined in quite some detail the Video program within this package as it offers a truly comprehensive guide to Voice Dialogue. Included on the final two Audios are more in-depth explorations of the nature of dreams, the use of symbols and imagery within Voice Dialogue and practical issues such as the use of illness to learn and grow.


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The Voice Dialogue Series is an extra-ordinary package; it would not be an exaggeration to say that it offers a truly revolutionary view of the human psyche which can radically transform how we live and work with ourselves. The Voice Dialogue Series is a truly comprehensive package. It will be of exceptional value to the therapist and professional as well as to anyone interested in psychology such as counselors, life coaches or teachers. At the same time we should not discount its value for personal learning, the package will also be of great interest to any individual who simply wants to know more about their own inner work and how to get the maximum of their life.

The personal way the material is taught, the use of workshop footage and live interviews, regular summary screens and constant examples, stories and anecdotes means any moderately educated laymen can also use their package for their own development. Professionals in the field of psychology, psychotherapy, counselling, social work, occupational therapy. Individuals involved in creative pursuits — actors, writers, artists. Individuals Back. Im an overthinker by your definition, but i dont have any trouble sleeping, and i dont use food or alcohol, to cope.

Marijuana is, and has always been, my go-to, recreational, and de-stressing method.

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Im interested in hearing any thoughts on how marijuana might be helping or worsening the situation, both biologically and psycologically? I am a maladaptive daydreamer. My take is that both what I have and weed are an escape from reality, and the most ideal way to cope with this is to find your peace in solving your problems by taking one step at a time.

I can pronounce myself regarding how healthy your habbit is, but as far as I'm concerned, there are things that I want to learn and share, and my up-to-present coping mechanism has been a waste of time. I can relate to the article. And I think marijuana can help provided you keep the dose low, and maintain discipline when you use it. I only smoke mild out-door weed that is not strong 2. I mix it with tobacco and only have 2 joints, and dont get completely wasted If I had more money I would buy more and boil it in tea instead of smoking it. I only smoke it once a week, on the same day, and tell my wife every time I use it.

And I am a visiotherapist, its a method of psychotherapy. Right, first it irritates people because they think about things that they would rather avoid, but gradually they see that those thoughts are not that frightening, they get accustomed to and finally overcome them simply by neutralizing - when overthinked, they loose their recycling power!

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Sometimes, once a while I find myself hard-stopped in my mind and the necessity to make it up to those 20 minutes where I think about my problems is not that easy, since I'm not even sure about what worries me, some kind of dullness that comes and distracts from myself to I. So yes, here as from what I found, complete disconnection for an extra long time were helpful for me and helped to solve more problems between myself and my own. Later on, in an idealistic situation. Of course I have a strict self discipline and a massive schedule. But in order to get to it, I feel the need to prepare myself, which might take as I've told way too long.

That's why missed my biology class today. Setting goals is easy but being intentional about reaching them is tough.

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From medical emergencies to financial crises, these strategies can help. There's pressure to engage in unhealthy habits that rob you of mental strength. Back Psychology Today. Back Find a Therapist.

Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering
Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering
Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering
Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering
Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering
Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering
Tame Your Chronic Pain:  Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering Tame Your Chronic Pain: Create Inner Dialogues that Resolve your Suffering

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